Ginger Tinted Dreams
by peppernator0817
Summary: A Oneshot of Severus confessing his feelings before the fight... Mature readers only please! SS/LE


The sun was beaming down on Black Lake, although Severus had not gone outside he knew this to be a fact because of how the other students of the school seemed to be flocking to the water's edge. He had one reason to go out there but that reason seemed to be more interested in James Potter as of late. This pissed him off to no end, the reason Severus couldn't place. Perhaps it was jealousy but why was he jealous? Oh yes, that's right. Lily was the object of his affection, the one thing that held his life together and she didn't even notice him anymore.

Sure she smiled at him in the hallways and touched his shoulder gently when she passed him in class but nothing else. The timid blushes that occurred when Potter was around didn't happen when Severus was near. Above anything else he wanted to hold her in his arms and tell her of his feelings, tell her he loved her, that he wanted her. That above anything else was true. He had woken too many times from a dream of Lily, sweat coating his skin, his sticky release filling his boxers. Luckily he woke so much earlier than the rest of his dorm room that he was able to shower and be back before the first one was even attempting to wake.

Today appeared to be different than the other days, Lily wasn't making her way outside, in fact, she seemed to be making her way towards Severus. He smiled his broadest smile, as he always did when she was around. He couldn't seem to be snarky, or even in a foul mood when his Lily was around. No, not HIS Lily, she belonged to Potter and if she didn't yet she soon would. She hugged him as she always did, but this time she hugged him tighter, lingered longer than she normally did, or should.

Severus couldn't help but swallow and hug her tightly, wanting her to be his he prayed for this moment to never end, then he noticed the wicker tote in her hand. "Going out to the lake I see?" She nodded for a moment before her white teeth came out to pres into the flesh of bottom lip.

"I was hoping that you would accompany me to the lake today. I found a spot on the other side that no one goes to, its near a meadow and I thought you might like it, a lot of rare flowers grow there, and if I'm not mistaken a few of them are potions ingredients. Come have a picnic with me Sev! Please?" He groaned when she used the nickname, he was weak when it came to Lily. If anyone else had called him that they would have been hexed so quickly that they wouldn't know who or what hit them. Closing his eyes he let out a long sigh and agreed.

She led him around the Lake to a shadow covered part but rather than stopping there she pulled him through a growth of trees to a bright meadow filled with flowers. He cringed a little and stopped, but she tugged at his hand and he followed her willingly. The sun made him warm so Severus took off his black outer robes. He felt funny not wearing them, he had gotten so used to wearing them thanks to the dark dank coldness of the dungeons that were his home he HAD to wear them all the time. Rolling up his sleeves he smiled at Lily. This would be one of the last times he would be able to do so. If he was correct, then Lucius was grooming him to be a death eater, and if so he would eventually take the dark mark and Lily would be lost to him forever. Severus could not imagine life without the witch who was now kneeling on a blanket humming, pulling food out of the basket.

Severus sat down on the blanket and leaned onto one of his elbows, playing with a blade of grass that he had plucked from the ground. Lily's long red hair seemed to glow in the sunlight, and Severus couldn't contain himself. He reached out and ran through the tresses, his breath catching at the softness. He wanted to kiss her and badly; no one was around so Severus thought: _Why the hell not? The most she will do is slap me and storm off to the castle. _Sitting up he pulled her to him and kissed her softly, her lips were soft and yet moist, and ever so slightly pliable, but she had stiffened the moment his lips had pressed to hers.

Breaking the kiss Severus mentally kicked himself, he wanted her to want the same things he did, a life with him, a future with him, that all seemed to be slipping through his grasp. Severus blinked at her for a moment, she bore only a look of shock, more of a: _what the fuck! _Kind of look than anything else, he opened his mouth to apologize, but before he could he was on his back and she was on top of him, her lips pressed to his. Severus wound his arms around her, holding her place kissing her back.

His heart was soaring; this was more than he could have hoped for. He had kissed Lily Evans and she was now kissing him back. Running a hand up her back he dug his hand into her hair and deepened the kiss. He broke it before too long and rolled to his side, looking into her emerald eyes.

"Lily… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." He felt himself blushing but pushed on saying the words he had never planned on saying to her ever. "It's just I love you Lily. I always have, you mean so much to me and I can't stand to think that I might lose you to that dunderheaded buffoon Potter…." He looked away his words rushing, because he was finally speaking of his feelings, his face was flushed when he looked at her, but this time tears shown in her eyes.

Tentatively he leaned forward and kissed her again, she returned his kiss. Severus kissed her with all the emotion he had in him, all the feelings from all the years he had known her, all the love that his heart held for her and all the passions that she inspired in him. He wanted to make her his, but needed to know that she felt the same way.

"Lily, dare I have hope that you would want to be mine? Or should I just try and forget this ever happened? Try and be your friend while you fall for another man?" He closed his eyes and waited for her response knowing that she could easily shut him down for James Potter, it would give Severus a reason to not only dislike him for being a bully but hate him for taking his love away.

"Severus, I love you too! I have spent the last three years trying to pretend that I don't. Trying to move on, scared that you will never feel the same, but you do! You do…. I would be honored to be yours Severus, I would love nothing more." Hot tears rolled down his face at her words and he crushed his lips to hers.

Severus kissed her, like he was a drowning man and she was his last attempt at air. Running his tongue gently over her bottom lip he begged entrance and was granted it, sliding his tongue into her mouth he moaned and rolled so that she was beneath him, deepening the kiss he ground himself against her. He HAD to mark her as his, fully make her his, he needed her now. He broke the kiss and placed small kisses lighter than a feather down her cheek, and neck. She mewed at the attention at her neck and arched against him in response, he couldn't contain moan that escaped him at the friction from her moving against him. Severus lifted his head and looked Lily in the eye.

"Lily, I want you. I want to make you mine, to show you that I love you, but I want it to be special, and if you don't want me, or you want to wait I will understand." She didn't voice a response instead she wound her hands into his hair and arched against his throbbing erection, rubbing herself against him. Moaning Severus pulled her as close as he could and kissed Lily deeply, softly. This was it. She had agreed to be his, she wanted him to make love to her, and he had to be dreaming. Casting quick disillusionment and contraceptive spells, Severus looked down into Lily's face and smiled, a true smile, a happy smile.

The next part was a blur, clothes flying, the occasional moan, and sigh until it was time. Lily was on her back, her legs were opened to him, and he lay nestled there, kissing her softly. He kissed her neck, nipping at the skin gently with his teeth, eliciting moans from and smiles from him. He kissed her chest, the hollow near her collarbone and the middle front part of her neck. Her hands were rubbing small circles on his back, occasionally flexing there. He wanted her so badly but needed to take his time, to make love to her, for her to enjoy this, his time with her.

He made his way down her chest, flicking his tongue over the hardened bud that was a nipple, before sucking on it gently. Lily arched against him and moaned out something that resembled his name, paying the same attention to her other breast, she flexed her hips involuntarily against him. It caused her warm, wet core to rub his now painfully throbbing erection and he moaned deeply he couldn't wait much longer. Sliding a hand down between them he slid a finger through her folds, spreading the moisture through her, before sliding a finger into her. Merlin she was tight and it took all of his strength to not thrust himself into her and take her savagely.

"Lily, are you sure this is what you want?" His voice was thick and laden with lust, he may cry if she said no, but he would respect her wishes and leave. When her emerald orbs opened and looked at him, they were covered with a lusty haze. She tried to kiss him but he pulled back, he wanted to hear the words from her, to know that she felt the same way.

Lily bit her lip and flexed her hips a little. "Sev, I want you. I want you to make love to me. Make me yours, mark me, show everyone, show James that you won me, and not him. Take me Sev, PLEASE, make me yours, I love you, I want to be with you forever, and it starts with this." Severus needed no more words from her, tears stung his eyes, before he leaned down to kiss her once more, while with one hand he positioned himself at her entrance.

Pushing into her slowly he moaned her name, and fought the urge to release inside her already. This was more than he could have ever have hoped for. He reached her maidenhead and stopped for a moment, pulling her as close as he could, he didn't want to hurt her but this was his way of making her his. Kissing her passionately he broke through the small barrier, giving her a moment to get used to him and to let the pain pass he kissed her gently. After a few moments he started moving, slowly, moaning deeply he fought interiorly for control. That control snapped though when Lily wrapped her legs around his waist and began to respond, moving against him.

"Oh, Sev! That feels soooo good, don't stop, MERLIN don't stop." Her mewls, words, and moans pushing him closer and closer to the edge. He began to move faster, thrusting harder, filling her to the brim with his long hard member. He moved a hand down to her hip, guiding his thrusts, she met his every move, thrust for thrust, calling his name, running her hands down his back, scoring the unmarked flesh with her nails, leaving little pink marks in their wake.

"Lily, I'm getting close. I need you to come with me. Please Lily, come with me." His deep, husky voice seemed to have a life of its own for as soon as he voiced his plea he felt he explode around him and he came, pumping his white hot seed into her, screaming her name.

xoxoxoxoxoxox

Severus jerked awake, sweat drenching his body; Lily's name on his lips. The sheets and blanket on the bed were tossed and tangled around him, his breath was still coming in pants, his heart thundered in his ears. He was alone in his bed at Hogwarts, the dreaded snarky potions master that everyone loved to hate, and Lily Evans Potter was dead. He had never told her of his heart, had called her a bad name and she had never forgiven him. He would live the rest of his life not knowing if she would ever feel the same way about him. A single tear fell down his cheek as the already hollowness of his chest felt just a little bit deeper.


End file.
